A few years ago I had a very difficult decision to make. I was on the verge of an amazing opportunity which would  have provided me with credence when a bolt out of the blue landed on my lap.

I struggled with deciding the path to take as I was overwhelmed with the pressure from my perceived expectations from society, family, religion and from myself.

Feeling of shame drenched me. The famous psychologist Carl Jung described shame as a ‘soul eating emotion.’ The feeling of shame can distort the way we view ourselves, leading us to hide away. We live in disguise and below our full potential.

 We may even compromise and fearfully live according to other people’s life script mingled with an hint of our true authentic self.

I admire Nelson Mandela’s focused determination. He is famously quoted as saying ‘may your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears.’ 

I am grateful that my choice at the time has produced the most amazing fruit. Each day I absorb new feelings of joy, contentment and I’m tickled with excitement and surprise.

I  ponder on how the ability to choose can be interrupted by our internal and external chattering. Some of these interruptions are like daggers in the dark.

Edith Eger a holocaust survivor is author of the book called The Choice. She spent 8 months in a Polish death camp. She tells  her story of having to choose to forgive those who had hurt her the most and choose to look forward for the sake of her own healing and thriving.

She famously said that we can choose to be free. We can make the choice to be free and to thrive. I have found her inspirational and challenging. I admire her remarkable journey of resilience and determination.

I came across this interesting phenomenon called Social Contagion. This is where behaviour, emotions or attitudes spread from one person to another through a group or a network. Its like the spread of a disease.

We are bombarded with messages from our culture, upbringing, society, family, religion and friends. These can infiltrate how we make our choices.

My age and lived experience have afforded me the opportunities to scrutinize and identify some of my own values, which gives me meaning, purpose and satisfaction. This helps in making choices.

Therapy offers a similar space for disentangling, deconstructing and reconstructing.

Life is determine by the decisions we make, use your gift of choice well.