It is interesting how significant life events can spur on a shift in our perspectives.

The death of my dad marked such a pivotal moment.

Although separated by thousands of miles, the echo and impression of his patriarchal and my ancestral voices invoked the ‘thou shalt not’.

Like a safety blanket with offers of comfort and reassurance yet like a chain which shackles freedom and creativity.

When he passed the heaviness of his voice subsided.

I was not alone but I could feel the strength of my own voice.

I was aware of a new sense of freedom to choose.

It was my turn now to choose.

Felt like one of those unshackling moments.

What was your significant event? I wonder what happened to you?

Now I am on the verge of something new.

What of my status as a grandmother, wife, the wise auntie, the Christian woman of faith, the older black woman in the community?

How can I be fun, creative, daring, self-preserving, nonconformist, mischievous whilst being wise and considered?

I am aware and can hear the choir of voices.

Some are louder than others.

Some are gentle and soft, caring and careful, cautious and protective

Some are cheering me on, inviting me to go for it.

Some are fearful, critical and panicked.

Some are jeering, taunting, teasing me.

Others are curious, wondering, inquisitive.

Others are applauding my bravery and courage.

Whilst out shopping I met by chance a middle age disabled woman with bright purple hair riding her wheelchair.

I was beaming with excitement as I approached her. 

How did we know we were to meet today?

Only as I saw her quizzical facial expression that I realised that I was starring fully at her.

I commented on the glow of her purple hair and my jealousy of her bravery.

She started to stroke her hair. I wanted to join but remembered that you don’t just touch stranger’s hair.

 It felt like she was inviting me.

 I resisted.

As we chatted, I saw the pride and self-acceptance in her eyes. I saw kindness, warmth and not frivolousness.

We were delighted to meet each other, to have a soul connection.

As we parted, she smiled and encouraged me to be brave and go for it.

I wondered whether she knew of the depth and the deep meaning of going for it.  Going for that change and be my own agent of change.

I am reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Feels like an enlightenment or an awakening. To be my true authentic self means discovering and accepting and also letting go.

How about you? I wonder about your encounters. How have they helped to provoke a change in your perspectives?

Counselling could also provide space for that unravelling or that catalyst that enable change.